Beer as explained by Cliff Clavin one afternoon at Cheers

[Big Al]

One afternoon at Cheers, Cliff Clavin was explaining the Buffalo Theory
to his buddy Norm. Here's how it went:

'Well ya see, Norm, it's like this... A herd of buffalo can only move as
fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the
slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural
selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and
health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the
weakest members. In much the same way, the human brain can only operate
as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we
know, kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and
weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer
eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more
efficient machine. That's why you always feel smarter after a few beers.'

[Big Al]

Post by Big Al
One afternoon at Cheers, Cliff Clavin was explaining the Buffalo Theory
'Well ya see, Norm, it's like this... A herd of buffalo can only move as
fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the
slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural
selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and
health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the
weakest members. In much the same way, the human brain can only operate
as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we
know, kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and
weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer
eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more
efficient machine. That's why you always feel smarter after a few beers.'

And here's some other good beer logic:

http://www.maggots.org/beerquotes.htm

[M'Balz Es-Hari]

Post by Big Al
One afternoon at Cheers, Cliff Clavin was explaining the Buffalo Theory
'Well ya see, Norm, it's like this... A herd of buffalo can only move as
fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the
slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural
selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and
health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the
weakest members. In much the same way, the human brain can only operate
as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we
know, kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and
weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer
eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more
efficient machine. That's why you always feel smarter after a few beers.'

Gold
Pure Gold

[Dick Hertz]

Post by Big Al
One afternoon at Cheers, Cliff Clavin was explaining the Buffalo Theory
'Well ya see, Norm, it's like this... A herd of buffalo can only move as
fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the
slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural
selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and
health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the
weakest members. In much the same way, the human brain can only operate
as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we
know, kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and
weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer
eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more
efficient machine. That's why you always feel smarter after a few beers.'

Klavin also said DNA stands for "Dames are Not Aggressive", and turned the
DNA helix sideways and started describing the gas turbine engine. I also
remember him saying that one of our future presidents is named Yelnik
McWawa. Pure genius.

I loved the old episodes with Coach Ernie Pantuso, but wasn't such a big fan
of Woody Boyd or Rebecca Howe (or Diane Chambers, for that matter).

Next to Coach, Clavin was my fave regular on Cheers. When I was in Baaaston
some yeaaahs back, I went to the Cheers bar, where they filmed the outside
shots only (inside shots were done at a studio in Hollywood). It's so
narrow and cramped in there you can barely move around if it's even half
full of people.